Money Stories And Money Feelings

SPEAKER_00 0:10

I love doing my new episode series at the moment of money stories, money relationships. How does money shape your life in the future? Whatever you experience as a child. Today I have my own Kunch. Kunchai Adams. Kunchai Adams. She is an advisor here with me. And today we're going to dig a little bit into her own life and into her personal story. She's not really comfortable with that. So bear with me, team, as I unravel what's inside this beautiful human's mind. So, Kunch, hello. Kioda. We're going to talk about your feelings. We're going to have a theory of the money feelings. Yeah. Leave all the other feelings at the door. I'm a Taurus, remember? Yes. Money feelings. Let's go back into your childhood and where you've come from. For those that missed out, your original episode that we did over a year ago when you first joined. Go back and have a look at that one. More than a year now. More than a year now. Yeah. But let's look into your life. So tell us a little bit about where you've come from.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Well, came to New Zealand when I was five as a refugee. So you can imagine, you know, arriving into a country, both parents

Refugee Childhood And Tight Budgets

SPEAKER_01 1:26

not speaking a word of English, and then also having to understand money management in a whole different new country, different currencies, and everything like that is totally overwhelming, I guess, for for my parents. But yeah, they kind of had to, I guess they were on the benefit for most of their life or most of my childhood, because not being able to speak a lot of English, it was hard to find a job. So money was very tight for us. Yeah. As children. Yeah. How did you feel that money was tight? What did it look like? To be honest, I j I don't really remember. Like my parents never made it feel like we had didn't have money sort of thing for me. Like I was happy with whatever we had. So it didn't feel tight, but as an adult, I know that living off a benefit and having four children would have been hard at the time. But yeah, like I never felt that it was tight until I probably hit college. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

What did it look like in college?

SPEAKER_01 2:43

I think it was more like, you know, if you go to college and then you get to the teen years and the, you know, other

Teen Shame And Labelled Shoes

SPEAKER_01 2:50

people, other teens kind of end up judging you on what you're wearing and things like that. Like you didn't have labels or you know, to match what the other kids had, or or even the circle of friends all around you.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Like you you end up comparing yourself to that. Yeah, and it's a it's it's an awful age, isn't it? Because you're going through hormones, you're going through discovery of who you are as a person. And you just started a new school and things like that as well. You want to be liked. I mean, fundamentally, we're all humans, we want to be liked. Yeah. And you're suddenly in this circle of people, and you're like, oh, I want I want to have friends. And who are my friends? Who are the people I want to hang out with? Yeah. And you want, yeah, you I think that's really, really hard stage. And if you suddenly realize that I'm not wearing what they're wearing, I'm not having the fancy backpacks and whatever. I would say gadgets, and I'm like, hold on a second.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

You and I are all with millennials, there wasn't really gadgets, but yeah, it wasn't you just didn't have what they had, and it wasn't I I myself, now that I look back, didn't feel that I missed out or anything like that. So then I got to the age of 14, and back then you could work, you could get a job at 14. So as soon as I could get a job or land something, that was me. I was like, yep, cool. I want to do it because I wanted to earn my own money. I wanted to go and buy those things for myself. What did you spend your money on? Interestingly, I think the first thing I spent on was a new pair of shoes that were labelled so that I could have something labelled. So it was always, you know, shoes and stuff from Kmart and Warehouse. But nothing wrong with Kmart and Warehouse, right? No. But when you're a 14-year-old girl, exactly, and you're in a circle of-and your mates are wearing, or not mates, but you know, these other students are wearing, you know, Nikes and Converses and things like that, and then they're like, Well, you don't have that. It kind of, yeah. You're like, Well, then I'm gonna go and buy me some. So, yes, that was my first thing purchase. But that's awesome. You went and got a job. What was your first job? Well, so my first job was at the North City Plaza Mall in Porter. As what did you do? As the North City, so North City, the mall, had a duck as their mascot. Oh my god. So we I was the mascot hostess, so I was walking around with the mascot of a basket of lollies at the mall and just saying hello to people. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Does the duck still go around?

SPEAKER_01 5:48

No, I don't even think the duck's their mascot anymore. So yeah, that was one role, and then it was Santa's little helper at the mall. Cute as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Did you have to wear an elf outfit? Yes, yes. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

So you know how you every Christmas you see those elves that are helping the photographer and stuff like that. Yeah, I did that. Can you find some photos for us?

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Oh my god, I I The God was this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Jeez, I wonder if we did take nah, we would have not, because we didn't have fancy phones or anything to be able to take photos.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

I'm reaching out to anyone in that has been in Porirua 15 years ago. Yeah. Well, 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yes, 20 odd years ago.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

20 odd years ago. If you were in Porirua and you were taking photos with the center, and if you've got any odd photos of Elf that looks like Cunch, can you please send it through to us?

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Yeah, that's actually a good question. I might actually hit up my mate and see whether there's any photos of us working part-time as those elves. Did you enjoy that? I did, actually. What did it feel like? What did it feel like? If uh I mean it was something to do, right? Something to fill in the void and also earn my own money if we're going back to how much money did you earn? Oh god, I think it was like five dollars an hour. Yeah, I think so. Yes, I think so. Even the other day, actually, come to think about it, even when you know, I grew up and then got a job at the age of eighteen and nineteen, an actual full-time job, I think I saw one on my pay slip and it was eight dollars an hour.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

And that was like a lot of money back then as an 18-year-old. Yeah. Because that worked out to be what three, no, how much?

SPEAKER_00 7:40

What are you trying to calculate?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I'm gonna go earlier 300 bucks a week or something. Yeah, and that was like a lot of money. Yeah. So I could go and finance a car. So I don't recommend doing that though. Save for that car. So yeah, finance a car. So I was able to buy my own car.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

And yeah, flating. Yeah, I was about to say, were you living at home at the time?

SPEAKER_01 8:05

No, so I left home before I was 18. Wow. Yeah, so I was about 17 when I first went out flating. So yeah, so I was able to do that as well with that $8 an hour.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

That's crazy. I don't think people can do that these days. No.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Not even on $28 an hour now. No, like a lot of them still stay at home. Yeah. So even over the weekend, we hosted our 17-year-old's pre-ball. They're at one of the mums's workplaces looking for anyone over the age of 16 um to fill in a role. So we basically told all the kids that were there, you're taking your CV and you're going to apply for this role. And this role is $28 an hour. So they're looking for three weeks for people to do this role. And I'm like, I'll apply. Yeah, me too. So it's three weeks, $28 an hour to do this. And I'm like, wow, 28 versus 8. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. So they're all going to apply for this role.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

We can talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

We can talk about that one. That's awesome. So, Kunch, going back for a moment in regards to your parents and stuff. So you went and earned money. Did you help your parents much?

SPEAKER_01 9:23

I pretty much did everything for my parents. So I was their translator. Like they they actually brought their first home. Did they?

Translating For Parents And First Home

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah. No. Yeah. So they actually were so financially savvy that anything they made or earned actually they set aside and they actually had a deposit to buy their first home. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah. That's really cool. You don't hear that often. No. No. Coming as a refugee family, no English, no jobs, and putting aside every penny they had.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

That's incredible. Yeah, so my mum actually put aside enough for a deposit. I think it was 5% deposit, maybe. Yeah. Back then as well, like 20 odd years ago. And they were able to buy a 400k house. Yeah. And the interest rates were massive at that time as well. I remember it being about seven or eight percent. I was about to say ten, to be honest. Yeah. No, so they got in at about seven or eight at the time. And yeah, they brought their house. They actually brought a house with so little money. Did you move in into that house with them? Yeah, so we I moved in for about a year with them. So all four of us, so they bought this big huge house in Patepado out of all places, you know. We moved from Porido to Patapado. They brought a 350 square house. Cheapest. But in view of having all four children still living at home. But as soon as we all moved there, we kind of got into relationships and then moved out with our partners and things like that. But that home became a foundation for all of us, for all four of us as well. And we pretty much all ended up moving out, moving back home, moving out, moving back home, moving back with our you know, family, with our children, yeah, as well. So it was a good foundation for us to do that. Did you want to buy your own home?

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Absolutely.

unknown 11:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Did that act of your parents buying a house signal to you that that's possible for you as well?

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Absolutely. And I think it was also the benefit of me having a role in the financial industry as well. So like my story of getting into finance was actually quite funny because I worked at um job, so I had a job at the airport. Yeah. And you know, with airport

Stumbling Into Banking And Learning Fast

SPEAKER_01 11:59

role is shift work. Yeah. It like terrible. I was 18, 19 at the time, and all I wanted to do was party every weekend, right? But instead you were doing graveyard shift. Correct. So I would show up to work, hung over, or I'd go out till, you know, four, three or four in the morning. I was about to say nothing really changed since then. I'm kidding. It has changed a little bit. You know, I would go out till that time in the morning. And then I'll go home, have a quick shower, then I would drive to work. And I was stuffed sort of thing, you know. Like, yes, I was young and you can survive and you can do that. Even now at 40, I'm like, how did I even do that? Yeah. But yeah, so So, and then you decided to go into more of a normal role? Correct. So I didn't want to do any weekends or public holidays anymore. And I just thought to myself, what can I do that doesn't involve me working that? And I walked into one of the banks in Pata Pada Omu, and I was just having a conversation with the tellers, and they're like, You seem like a really, you know, good person with customer service. A very chetty girl. Yeah. Do you want to apply for a role? I was like, Wow. Oh, okay, sure. Sort of thing. Talk about being in the right place at all time. So I applied for that role. It was actually a um, I think it was like a business banker role. What? No idea, no idea what that was, right? Coming from retail to that. And then of course I didn't get the role because I have no experience in banking, but that's okay. But it it it gave me this confidence that okay, banks are actually looking at me. So then I applied for a role at a call center at the bank, and I got that role.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

So I did that role, and basically from then that kind of started my banking career at 20. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Yeah. And did that help you to get better with money? Like watching people with their money and seeing people's accounts. Yeah. And who was good and who was bad and what they were doing. Yeah. Did that help you?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

It definitely helped me be a bit savvy with my money. But I I'm also a little bit of a spender as well. Because I have it. I'd spend some. Are you still a spender? Half and

Spending Habits And Convenience Traps

SPEAKER_01 14:27

half, I would say now. Yeah. Yeah. You worked on you. I worked on myself. Like even yesterday having a conversation with my husband going, oh my gosh, why are we spending? Like, and mostly it's food. It's food. And I everyone is pretty much the same, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:43

You're you and I are very similar.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Yeah, it it's the convenience of it as well. Just going out and we'll just go out because we've just, you know, picked up algills and now it's 7 p.m. and I haven't thought about dinner.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

So it's more of a convenience thing. Like I'm totally aware of what I'm spending, how I'm spending, but it's just to rein it in.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

That's step number one is being aware. Yeah. So you're already there? Yeah. It's step number one. I think step number two is really turning it into action and going, okay, what can I fix here? Where can I turn the dial?

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Just because I'm a financial advisor, I'm not perfect, right? Nobody is. No. In that sense. But I'm conscious and aware of it. So then I'll flick a switch and be like, okay, done, sort of thing. But then the f the switch can also flick off because we're like, okay, I need to pay for that convenient. Or mentally, I'm like, I don't want to think about it. I'll just go and pay for it. Yeah. Sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Yeah. What about Hayden, your partner? Sorry, I just said his name. My husband, yeah. Your husband. How was he when you guys met, and how did he change over

Saving With A Scrooge Partner

SPEAKER_00 15:56

the time as well? Was my new relationship?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

It was so good. Did you ruin him? So I I call he's the scrooge in our relationship. So I call him the scrooge. He was so good. Like he had so much saved at that age of I think. When did I meet? We meet. He was 19. Cute. He had already brought his car that was like a $20,000 car outright. Whoa. Saved. Cashed from his apprenticeship role he had at the time. Whoa. Yeah. He was really good with money. Okay. Yeah. And even now he he's still that Scrooge. But also he's he's at that point where he's like, well, I've worked pretty hard to earn these funds. If I want to do a little bit of discretionary fun, it's okay. Yeah. Because then he has the whole the YOLO, you know, you only live once sort of thing as well. And and we kind of have to do that as well. Because sometimes life is a little bit short. Yeah. And we've all experienced that as well. Especially you guys. You guys had a really rough ride over the last 12, 18 years. Yeah. So we have seen how life can be so short as well. So again, it's like we can be savvy, but then we can be spending this as well.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's a good balance to have. Yeah. Like as long as you cover your basic needs of paying your mortgage, paying your bills, everything's paid on time. You're not behind on anything. Then you can be going, okay, what else do we want to do with life? And I feel like you strike me as a very goal-oriented person. So you need a goal, I think, to save. Like if you know you can save for a holiday in Vietnam and you need 20k for that to take all your family.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Let's do that. Yeah. Sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

I know you will stop eating out. I know you will not buy those Gucci shoes.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I actually don't own anything, designer. Definitely a bargain hunter.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Really? So a 14-year-old girl that went and spent money on labeled shoes had bargain hunter. A bargain hunter.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

As well. It was on a bargain. That's why I brought those shoes.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

I love it. How do you like how do you train your children now to be good with this?

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Oh my god, that is the hardest. Because that's

Raising Kids Who Understand Money

SPEAKER_01 18:22

a good question, actually. Because I am living my childhood through my children. Are you buying them stuff? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

So they don't need.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

It's not that they don't need. So because I missed out on a lot, yeah. Knowing that my parents couldn't afford it as well, that now I live my childhood through them. So if they need anything, I'm able to do it, sort of thing. But also I had that goal in terms of I need to be at a certain point in the care my career to be able to do that. Yeah. I didn't want my child or children or myself or our family to be without. Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of pushed myself in my career to be able to yeah. But how do you teach them about it? Oh no, that was the question. I think at the moment now I'm reigning it in. I actually my 13-year-old last night was, Mum, we need to do a machine order. And I'm like, why?

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Because uh my phone needs a new phone case, rah rah rah. And I'm like, actually, no, I don't have any money. I don't get paid until the 6th. Yep, I confirmed that. So I have no money. So I had to actually say that and go, I my I only get paid monthly. So we have to wait a whole month for my next one. Actually had to say that to her for her to understand that I'm just not a waterfall of money. You're not an ATM. Yes. So I'm starting to do that now. Like going, this costs this much. We need to work this, you know, out. We also had a conversation about when's the next holiday because we didn't actually do one this year. And I was like to the girls as well. I was like, actually, I think your sister needs to get a job so she can pay for both your tickets.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Because the thing is as well, your girls are quite busy with their sports and kapahakas, and you guys travel quite a bit for the for that as well. And that costs money.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Costs money, and so is yours, right? And you you've got twice as many children as I do. Yep. So that's four times the cost, whereas mine is two times the cost. But yeah, uh, just starting to do that now. Do you have kiwi savers for your kids? Both of them have Kiwi Saver. Yes. Do they know what is Kiwi Saver? No, they don't. I haven't actually told them. But I've already so the eldest is good with her money. I can see she does not spend. She's like her dad. Correct. Whereas the youngest. She's like mama. Correct. Exactly. Replicas. Oh, it's so crazy how they kind of they are. But so it's the youngest that we have to have more of a conversation with. Whereas the eldest, I know that once she signs up for this job, probably won't spend all of that. Whereas the youngest has already gone, oh, you could spend it on this, this, and this. Already putting ideas in her head. So we've got to just work on that.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Yeah. Yeah. It's hard. I think these days it's much, much harder to raise children. Like you and I had slightly different parenting and backgrounds and things like that. And now our kids, they're experiencing a completely different life that you and I had. And they have everything they need. They've got everything they need. They don't need to suffer. They don't go without. We were and that's the issue, right? Because we don't Want them to go all about. Yeah. But it's like at the same time, how do you teach them that you've got to be good with money in life as well because that's your cushion? Like mom and dad are not going to be around forever. They're not going to cover your bills. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

I think I've prep we're preparing our um 17-year-old to be, hey, as soon as you hit 18, you're an adult. Like you're you're gonna have to do things or earn things yourself. So she I think it's slowly clicking because obviously she took herself to this place to go get her CV done and to be ready to apply for a job. So we're quite surprised that she did that actually. We're like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, nothing is more satisfying than watching your children grow into adults, functioning adults, good, good human adults, that you don't need to worry about them in terms of I don't need to rescue them. Like obviously you'll always worry as a parent for your kids, but if there are certain things, the basic things, if they can get that, that's awesome. I mean, I worry for my kids. I think they're massive spenders because every time they get money, they're like off to the dairy shop to buy lollies. So we actually have to take money away from them. I call myself IRD. Um I said this is your tax because when you grow up, you have to pay tax. Yeah, so you got you've got to pay tax, you've got to pay your rent, and then whatever money's left over, that's your lolly money. Spending money.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Yeah, yeah. And and we've had those conversations already as well. We're like, as soon as you're earning, you'll have to pay a sport sort of thing, and then whatever you have left over, you put some in your savings, and then you can spend the rest, sort of thing. Yeah. So we're already trying to have that conversation because at the start of this episode I said I financed a car. Yeah. And I wish I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

I was about to ask you, what were you what was your mistake, financial mistake in life?

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Financing that car at the age of 18 or 19 or whatever you were. Yeah. Because

The Car Loan Regret

SPEAKER_01 24:08

I had a full-time job and they would give me that loan. I wish I didn't finance that and I wish I set aside that money and put it towards a deposit of a home earlier. Why? What impact did it have on you? I think it was more just as a cycle of keeping having loans for until, you know, until I got to the age of 25 sort of thing, to be going, actually, I need to stop topping up these loans and pay it all off so I can save my money to have a house deposit or to yeah, to buy a house.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Yeah. I don't think a lot of 18 or 19 year olds think that far. I think they think now, right now, oh 100%. I want to have fun, I've got a flash car.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Right? I wanted a flash car and I wanted it there and then. Yeah. Sort of thing. So 100% they would have not. I didn't think about my future.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

Definitely not. What's your future now? Do you have goals for the future?

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Of course. We always do.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Yeah. Obviously, you know, pay off the mortgage, travel

Future Goals And Building A Legacy

SPEAKER_01 25:20

a wee bit more, but also have some retirement fun. Yeah, that's important. Savings and retirement fun. Yeah. Yeah. And how are your parents doing now? Well, mum and dad ended up selling that house. Dad actually lives with me, and I actually help him manage the funds that he had from his net sale process.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

I love that because that's where I was sort of looping the circle that, you know, parents bought the house and then they had your guys, and then as the parents aged, now your dad lives with you, which is so beautiful because he like you paying him back for what he's sort of done for you guys. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Yeah, so yeah, he lives with us and then I'm helping him manage those funds.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Helping him manage those funds. Okay. I hope they invested well. With good returns. Yeah. And that's another trouble as well these days, right? The property prices keep going up. Like, how do we help our children get on the ladder?

SPEAKER_01 26:22

So I did mention that I would charge my child board. Yeah. So that board money will go into an investment account or some sort of account that's actually going to end up going back to her. Yeah. So she can use it for her deposit. I hope she has not listened to this episode. No, she won't. She won't go this far because we're it's it'll be too long for her. She'll give up. Yeah, she'll give up at the first five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Well, Quinch, thank you so much for coming today and sharing your story. If you had one message today to the you know, to the listeners in the future generations,

Final Rule Save Before Debt

SPEAKER_00 26:58

what would it be? Apart from don't get a colour.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Yeah, just just save. It's actually faster to save your earnings than it is to repay the debt. Love it. Yeah. For our younger generation, just save for for that flash car. Nice. And nice. Don't get a flash car, actually. Just get get one from A to B.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

A little runaround. For me, I guess the message that I've as I've been listening to you is that doesn't matter where you've come from. Like it doesn't matter if you were a refugee family, that you came in, you didn't have much in New Zealand, you didn't have rich parents to help you out. Like you paved your own way. And I love that for you. Like I love that you you've got that character in you that didn't go, oh, you know, who is me? I'm from a poor family and I'm not a New Zealander and da-da-da. Like you actually went, what the heck? That's my country now. I'm gonna make it work for me. I want to achieve this, I'm gonna go for it. And I loved it for you. And I think this is a very important message for those that are listening and always worried about, oh, but I don't have anyone here. I don't have rich parents, I don't have rich uncles and aunties. Well create your own path. Create your own path. You can do this. Beautiful. Thank you so much, Chris. Thank you. See you soon again.

unknown 28:10

Bye.